Loneliness. Let’s be real here, we all experience it. If you haven’t you’re lying. Plain and simple. Why do we act like admitting to loneliness is some kind of weakness. Our society is slowly deeming any piece of humanity as weakness; calling people “thirsty” for showing even the slightest sign of interest. We are losing our softness and becoming hard. Why is that the goal? The answer: its not. That is a trick from the world to help you lose yourself and give in to sin. Ezekiel 36:26 says “And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh”.
Don’t let the world turn your heart to stone. It is okay to feel. You will get lonely. Period. How will you deal with it? Will you hide it, proclaiming to be a strong woman “who doesn’t need a man” or pretending to be a man who doesn’t need solid woman in his life? will you pretend that you don’t long for real love and companionship? If we succumb to this practice of the world then will we next succumb to the common practice of premarital sex and hollow relations? Resist and go against the grain. Be strong and listen to God’s word; to truth. “Desire without knowledge is not good – how much more will hasty feet miss the way!” – Proverbs 19:2
Here’s the truth: it is okay to be lonely! Men and women of God, hear me, you are Children of the all powerful! You are sons and daughters of the king most high! You are princesses intended to be queens and princes intended to be kings. It is up to you to RISE. “Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and He will establish your plans.” – Proverbs 16:3
Now, let’s address guilt. The next very real issue we can face as single Christians is guilt because “God should be enough and you shouldn’t need anyone else”. Well, I was feeling this guilt and a wise mentor of mine put it in the best terms. He told me God designed us to need a mate. God designed us to need companionship and a partner. We are not meant to do life alone. That loneliness is something he put within us to seek out our partner. He could have made us without that need but he didn’t. That is why he created Adam and gave him Eve. God was not enough for Adam, he needed a helper. He made it that way on purpose. When he told me this, the lightbulb went on. I’ve prayed for that loneliness to go away and and honestly, the pain of it has, but the need to find my other half persists because God wants us to find our person.
There is no shame in this!
When you are lonely, pray. Read the word. Talk to your small group members or your spiritual family. You can even write letters to your future spouse or keep a prayer journal for them. I recommend praying for your future spouse often, not just that God will bring them to you, but praying for them as a person. Pray for their protection. Pray for their preparation. Pray that God prepares you. Pray for their spirit and journey. Pray for their heart. As you seek them out, pray that God will keep away the wrong people and shut all the doors to you except the one He has intended for you. Pray for His guidance. I have read 31 Days of Prayer for Your Future Husband which is a great daily devotional to pray for your future spouse. If you are a single parent, I highly recommend reading 21 Principles for a Healthy and Happy Single Mom (It can apply to men too!). Remember to focus on preparing yourself and to be patient!!! Wait for your Boaz or Ruth. Wait for what is right (If you haven’t read Ruth, please do).
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” – Proverbs 4:23